A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
