you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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