My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
