Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
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