Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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