People with herpes should wear stickers.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
