Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
foreskin is a definite game changer
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
