You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
