I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
