South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
