i think my tv is drunk
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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