if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
