Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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