maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
We're using joints as your birthday candles
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I need water and some morals