you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
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we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
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I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution