woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize