I think I died a long time ago.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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