You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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