even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Randomize
