i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Randomize
