U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
