is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
