I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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