I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
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