i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
