I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
