I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
