You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
