New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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