we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
