I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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