I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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