Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
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We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
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there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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