she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I don't deserve a penis
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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