We won't sleep together?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
