Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I love you.
Bad choice
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