I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
