There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Randomize
