she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize