No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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