I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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