i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
