Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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