goodnight i made you a song goodbye
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
