Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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