just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
