i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
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You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
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Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god