I murdered the dance floor call the cops
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
