So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Your cock deserves a montage
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
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