yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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