i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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