whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
