I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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