you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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