I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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