Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
