its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
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