I think I am morally bankrupt
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
