My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
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Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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