you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize