so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.