i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys