I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?