first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face