I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
