he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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