I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
